selig.jpg.jpeg     an open letter to: Bud Selig

It was inevitable. With more and more news about baseball players using performance enhancement drugs and Congress adjusting their collective investigative microscope, it was only a matter of time before Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig stood up like a man and address the matter with a firm fist. And did he ever!

The Associated Press reported on April 30, 2005 that in a letter to union head Donald Fehr, the commish is pushing a 50-game suspension for first-time steroid offenders, 100-game ban for the second offense, and a lifetime ban(!) for the third violation. This new proposal in answer to what Selig refers to as "the need for progressive discipline" certainly puts a new spin on the old " ... and it's one, two, three strikes, YOU'RE OUT!"

The full story is here.

My initial reaction was one of suspicious disbelief. The headline "Selig seeks 50-game penalty for steroids" led me to suspect this was a spoof article; not an unusual appraisal when one considers the history of such matters in MLB. Upon following the story a bit further, my reaction changed to "Good! It's about time!"

Dear Commissioner Selig,

Thank you for standing tall with your recent letter to player union head Donald Fehr. This has been long overdue and necessary to cleanse the game of artificial athletes and artificial stats. However, there are other important issues to address as a part of doping issue. Two that immediately come to mind are:

1) Make certain that the testing process is going to detect all types of 'roids, and

2) stand firm on your demand that "greenies" and other amphetamines are made an integral part of the testing procedure. What's good for the minors is good for MLB.

Your efforts in cleaning up the game are appreciated by more fans than you can imagine. Stand firm!

With sincere thanks,

Jeff Bauer

Hopefully Selig's proposal will soon become a part of MLB player's contracts. And should any players refuse to sign, we should wish them well in their new careers as "professional" wrestlers, because that's the circus where such 'roid head, side show freaks belong.

(more Alien Tirades on America's great national pastime can be found here, here, and here.)

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Text - Copyright © 2005 by Jeff Bauer
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Revised - Tuesday, May 26, 2020