DREAM CONFESSIONAL
please forgive me Father, for I have dreamed. Uh, dreamt?
Saturdays rock -- at least if one doesn't have to work, they do. I just woke up from a brief yet deliciously sinful, late afternoon nap. The following is the last part of a dream I was in just before waking up. I thought it was "funny," in both "ha ha" and "peculiar" definitions, and for reasons unknown to me, decided to share it with you.
Caveat emptor: I haven't done this before. Ever. So this might be shit from word go. You've been warned.
The preposterous premise: A chance encounter if the outlaw Josey Wales had his own website.
The scene: the outlaw/webmaster Wales is seated with legs crossed and extended, boots up on a table. He's leaning back balancing on the chair's rear legs, hat shifted forward, brim flat down over his nose. He is approached by a young and obviously adoring fan.
Fan: You sleepin', Mr. Wales?
Wales: Nope, not sleepin', kid. Just taking a good, long look at the inside of my eyelids ...
Fan: Mr. Wales, iffin you don't mind?
Wales: Spit it out, kid.
Fan: I was at the computer last night and read your whole website.
Wales: The whole site?
Fan: Yes, sir, Mr. Wales -- the whole site.
Wales: Well that's a lot of readin' there, Missy.
Fan shyly half turns away and blushes.
Wales: You must have one helluva lota patience to read that whole web site in one sittin'.
Fan (nodding): I reckon so, Mr. Wales.
(pregnant pause, strictly for dramatic effect)
Wales: 'Course patience and brains is two different things.
THE END