stern.jpg   an open letter to: Howard Stern

This was the result of some early morning web surfing. After rolling out of bed, turning on the computer, making a pot of coffee, taking a leak, throwing on some clothes, I fired up a Nate Sherman Classic and hit my first cyber-stop of the day: my e-mail in-box. Fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. Next stop was the Drudge Report where I found this hyperlink screaming at me: STERN: OPRAH TALKS DIRTIER...

I instinctively clicked on the link.

After reading the article and pondering the story, it occurred to me that I had a feasible plan that could upset not only the FCC's apple cart, but Oprah's as well!  The following correspondence was sent off to the contact e-mail addy on Stern's web site.  Lets see if anything becomes of this.

And okay, I'll admit it: this isn't exactly a letter, but rather an e-mail.  So sue me for false advertising. Get in line ...


Dear Howard, staff and/or e-mail lackey,

First, I've been a listener and fan of Howard Stern since his days on Hartford radio.  I know, I know: that and $1.50 will get me a cup of coffee, but please read on.

In reference to this NY Post article, if Howard is truly serious about this "Battle of the Bulge" and wants the hypocrisy squashed by leveraging the FCC to hold Oprah accountable to the same rules The Howard Stern Show is held to, the first step is obvious and quite simple. From the article:

"A spokeswoman for the FCC's Enforcement Bureau told The Post she hadn't seen any complaints about Oprah's show. Typically, the FCC doesn't act or comment on controversial broadcasts until a complaint is received."

Have someone on your staff submit a formal complaint about the Oprah show to the FCC and keep on them about it. Or better yet, rally the Stern Faithful to write FCC about that particular show. FCC is mandated by law to respond to such complaints, and they'd be hard pressed to ignore the virtual deluge that your many listeners could generate.

What's good for Howard or Bubba is good for the darling of afternoon TV.

I hasten to add that if the sequence of events between you and your producer, station manager and Infinity lawyers was accurately reported in the NY Post article, then the producer, station manager and Infinity lawyers are invertebrates sans scrotum - at least IMHO.

Sincerely,

Jeff Bauer


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Text - Copyright © 2004 by Jeff Bauer
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Revised - Wednesday, September 7, 2005